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Dog's Outlook on Life vs. Cat's Outlook on Life

My college roommate sent me this and I think it is so true. Hope you enjoy it.

Dog's Outlook:
8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m. - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing.

Cat's Outlook:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about "what a good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!!!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.......

2010.07.11 Milo is so upset with me

I am Milo's mom and here is my story from last evening:

I was getting some things ready for a shower last night and threw some bedroom shoes into the bathroom on my way past it. (I do that all the time with no harm done to anything - a habit I am now going to need to break.) But this time, to my great surprise, Milo was laying in the middle of the bathroom floor enjoying a snooze on a rug. I have never seen him do this before as he usually likes a tight spot to curl up in. I HIT HIM WITH THOSE SHOES. I immediately picked him up and hugged him to me saying "I am so sorry" over and over again. He was just shocked and flabbergasted and rightfully so!! I was pretty shocked myself. I hope I did not injure him but he is really wary of me over this - wouldn't even sleep with me last night. I take it he thinks I am more of a "sorry mom" than I am regretful for what I did to him. Today he has been sleeping under the couch or the desk in the PC room. Anything for some safety. So now, folks, I am waiting on Milo hand and foot and trying to let him know I really do care about his well-being. He has me right where he wants me, I think. I surely don't want him to be insecure in his own home so I am willing to keep this up a while. He is really uncertain what to think of me right now.

On a more truly funny note, I wish I had a video of what I was seeing this morning down the hall as I lay in bed. Milo was in the laundry room craning his head out every now and then watching for Gray (the better to surprise him) and Gray was in the bathroom next door craning his head out every now and then trying to determine Milo's whereabouts. HILARIOUS LITTLE BALLET. I finally got up and helped Gray past the Milo obstacle. There is lots of laughter in the small stuff, thanks Goodness.

2010.07.04Milo Steals from Grayson

My (Milo's) brother, Grayson, had taken to hiding in a spot where his tail stuck out from under his hiding place. Mom (Linda) really liked him in that spot as it was easy to know where he was AND easy to reach under and get him if she needed to. She wasn't letting Grayson know she knew about this spot. He used it every day for two weeks, at least. After that time had passed, Milo couldn't stand it anymore. On Friday (7/2), he ate his breakfast and then proceeded to position himself in Grayson's new spot to await Grayson's coming. Poor old Gray, when he went there and saw this intrusion, he looked so very very insulted and absolutely incredulous. He made a cry which brought mom to see what was going on. When Linda saw the situation, she reached under to get Milo by the scruff of his neck and carry him out of the room. But, too late, Gray is now disgusted with this sullied spot. He wouldn't go near it for two days. Then, today, mom noticed Gray was back in his place but turned in such a way his tail no longer sticks out. He is on the lookout for intruders this time. Mom is just glad he is trying to use the spot again. He has to feel he can find no safe haven in his own home so mom intends to change that if she can. Mom believes Milo got the message this time as she was kind of stern about letting him know he had done really bad. Mom wants Milo to have fun, just not at Gray's expense.

2010.02.20 Milo the Nurse

I have had a virus for a week and it has moved from a stomach thing to sinusitis. The sinusitis is causing a croupy harsh cough that comes in uncontrollable spasms. Milo has sat next to me throughout both ordeals. I can't believe he stayed through the coughing but he did. My other cat comes and visits me for a little while every day but when the going gets tough, he leaves. I told Milo he is, after all is said and done, my little sweetie.

2010.02.20 Milo is Falsely Accused

Milo doesn't have the very best reputation for ALWAYS using the litter box. He is also a little conniving when it comes to outsmarting his brother, Grayson. Over the last week, I have noticed that there is a wet spot on the balcony right by the pet door every time I go out to clean litter boxes (which are clean so it isn't that they are nasty for Milo's delicate feet). I can't smell so I assumed it was Milo's using the floor instead of the box. This meant that I went to great effort to clean the area and spray it down with a veterinary strength odor controller and scrubbed it down and then took it all meticulously out to the trash container.

I cleaned litter boxes this afternoon and decided to put a newspaper over this area that is getting wet every day. It was wet again today!!!!! Later, Milo left me to take a break and I went outside a little later to see what the newspaper looked like. Lo and behold, it was WET as could be!!!!!!!!! So I set about grousing about this situation and taking the newspaper out to the trash for fear it smelled to high heaven. Just then, I got hit on the head by a drop of water. Uh-oh, I thought, this isn't the cat doing this. It is a leak in the overhang on the balcony.

I went inside and apologized to Milo and I am greatly relieved the problem lies somewhere besides with Milo's habits. It is way too hard to out-stubborn a cat.

2009.09.06 Lay Flat to Dry

We took four friends to the Carolina football game Saturday (Carolina 40, Citadel 6) and had a great time in great weather. The win didn't hurt either. We were a little concerned about having that many in one car but the Lincoln was comfortable for everyone. I didn't feel a bit crowded and everyone else came through comfortably also. We even had snacks and drinks each and still were able to handle everything just great. Lunch was great in the team's normal non-game-day dining area. There seemed to be a choice of three different meals at three different stations. I got one and then put a few salad fixings on the side of a plate. It was quite good.

On Sunday (the 6th), I washed the clothes I had worn on Saturday to the game and the top I had worn said to wash on gentle cycle and then lay flat to dry. So I prepared a place on my dining room table with clean towels and carefully laid my top out on the towels to dry. I spent some time making sure there were as few wrinkles in it as possible. Then, I busied myself with other things and, voila, pretty soon I spotted Milo all laid out on my newly washed top - wet though it was. What is there about this cat and his love of water?!!! I bet there are now some wrinkles in it, I told him, since he usually has to spin around a few times to get himself comfortable. He appeared to be trying to sleep on it. Since I had already been angry with him earlier over jamming my printer with his antics, I just had to laugh at this one. I told him I always tell people the outfit isn't complete without a few Milo hairs anyway. I wish I had taken a picture but I didn't. I could probably reproduce the scene merely by laying any article of clothing on the table as if I were trying to handle it with care. Evidently, he is even jealous over clothes - or he just loves me so much he wants to be a part of anything I have handled. I gotta love this creature and I do love him, by the way.

Another pet story - this one about Grayson. He has still been reluctant to move around much in the house and I have been concerned. He is getting a little age on him but I don't think this kind of slow-down is good for anything. Anyway, I had him up on my bed petting him Friday morning and picked up his right front paw and said something like "What a great foot! Even your feet are handsome, Grayson, so perk up baby." Well I felt a claw that was so long it had curved around and was sticking in the pad of his foot. No wonder he has been reluctant to move around. (I really hope this explains his lethargy.) I turned the house upside down looking for my cat nail scissors (which I know how to use) and could not find them. Don and I went to the pet store and I got a new pair, came home, and I did a little "surgery" on Gray. That tip of the nail came out of the pad really easy with this equipment and then the outer sheath which had gotten thick from disuse just crumbled right off the toenail. He has been out to lay in my lap for 3 nights in a row now and has been laying right by my bed in the morning when I wake up. I think these are good things, but not quite enough being out and about. I am trying to encourage him to "sharpen" his claws on a scratching pad I have for him. So far, he does a tiny bit of clawing on it but not enough to make me happy. So every now and then I make like I am grooming my own nails on it - believe it or not, this sometimes works! He wants to mimic my action. I am hoping if I can get him doing this regularly, it will keep his nails short enough that this won't happen again. I put a little catnip on the scratching pad this morning and that perked up his interest a bit in getting on the pad. Unfortunately, it got Milo's interest a lot. He is now in love with the scratching pad - literally. He lays on it and looks like he is hugging it for dear life. Until I can Gray more interested, I will try to do a once a week check on how long his nails are getting and keep those new scissors handy just in case.

Not much else cat-related. The main thing is I still love both my boys. Oh, and in trying to find the cat nail scissors, I found my long-lost address book. God does work in mysterious and surprising ways. I was VERY happy to see that book again and had feared it was gone for good. Now that I have started a second address book, I am going to try and keep them both. I have learned through losing two of these things within the last year that it pays to have a backup, at least for me.